Bump

You’ve been with this guys for 2 months now
and you feel that you’ve built up some trust now
you invite him to your place
not just for sex but just to stay
this has become a regular occurrence somehow
You want to be with this guy when you all on your own
but you’re still not sure if he’ll answer the phone
You’re still not sure if he’s the one
You’re still not sure when his day is done
You know that he can’t be the rising sun

You made it official
not just with words but Facebook official
not just in texts but come meet my mum it’s official
Spend time with my friends on a weekday official
Stay at mine for more than a day official
leave more than a toothbrush at my place official
got more than a draw to keep his stuff in official
but you’re officially screwed

2 blue lines on the end of a stick
a piece of plastic as thin a tooth pick
you could break it with the force of your hands
but it won’t change the result
so you sit all alone sitting on the bathroom floor thinking
Over thinking, under thinking, always thinking
maybe I should call a girlfriend, she’ll sort me out
I have no doubt
that in any given situation
she’ll have the right answer
but on this occasion
she rings out

You try again
9 more times try again
you try to leave a voicemail but the words won’t come out
its too much for a text so you find a pen
you go to write out the words you want to say
planning ahead so your heads okay
but you put the pen to the paper
and your hand doesn’t move
it refuses to budge because you can’t imagine this truth
You can’t write it down because then it becomes true
are you really ready to be “me and you”?
But why are you taking it all
surely he wouldn’t want to leave you to fall
alone without a text or a phone call
ask how his baby mothers doing
Let you know that he loves you
Oh god does he love you?
do you love him?
It doesn’t matter
You know you don’t want to be tied down yet
Should you take a pill and just live to forget A
t the end of the day it comes down to him
Does he want a baby deep down within
Or does he not want to know, want in the bin
Forever forgetting a life that could have been

You know you don’t want this man
Basically a kid yourself without a plan
He’s basically a kid too without a clue in the world
About nappies and burping or UV scans
Surely he won’t grow to resent me
But who knows maybe he will
Fuck sake you should have been taking the pill
He wouldn’t dare run away and leave
But if he did you wouldn’t have to skill to get him back on track to being a dad
he doesn’t know how to do that
He never had a dad growing up

Guess it’s just a side effect to the fact
that he’s not had the right upbringing that he should have
But that’s not your fault
It’s not your fault
just remember that it’s not your fault
it takes two to make a baby
and every time he’s been round lately
It’s been all arguments and pain that has been greatly felt by the both of you
And now you have no idea what to do

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