Disbelief | Sunday Sonnet

Every time we take a knee,
To make our morning prayer,
I find myself in disbelief,
Of something that’s not there.

The heart strings plucked by cupid,
Keep us walking in the dark.
Siren’s music makes men stupid;
It starts with just a simple spark.

On the morning of our lives,
We look beyond the simple truths,
To make joy return; and yet arrives,
The bleeding heart of youth.

I’m not the one with once you walked.
I’m not the same; we haven’t talked.

Passion Dam

A passion brings what once was lost;
Our passion proves our point.
Alas I cannot find it since,
This pain has flood my joints.
I can feel there’s something moving,
Digging deep beneath my skin.
It surely must be passion brewing,
From inside; within.

I feel so empty; I’m not well.
I’m feeling very sick.
I feel just like a failure;
I feel like such a prick.
I once again let passion slip,
From fingertips that bled,
Over portrait, poem, canvas;
My creativity has shed.

A dam has somehow built itself.
It walls off all my flow.
It keeps a hold on everything,
That I thought you should know.
And yet I keep on pouring out,
These secrets I should keep.
I’ll just think about it later,
While I should have been asleep.

Answers

Never be afraid to fail,
Or you will never grow;
These words that still I can repeat,
But cannot truly know.
I do not feel the pass of time.
I don’t think I’ve changed,
And yet I feel a loss that comes,
As each of us feels strange.

Inside there is a secret place;
Come see if you can find,
The place that keeps its promise-
Don’t keep searching in your mind.
Get lost in all the outside world;
In every little nook.
Keeping searching far for answers.
Look in each and every book.

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The Mystery Blogger Award

beautiful me.jpgHello humans on the other side of a screen. I am here today, first and foremost, to say a great big thank you! To all those who have supported my blog from the very start, to those who have just recently join the mildly-depressing poetic fun; I am very happy to say I have reached 500 followers here on Written Word, something I never thought I would achieve with my writing, and it has filled me with overwhelming joy and inspiration. I love you all, and thank you so much for joining me on this journey, whatever stop you may have jumped on at.

Now, to ‘The Mystery Blogger Award”;

What is it?

The Mystery Blogger Award is like a community run appreciation circle, much like those texts you used to get in 2005 that said if you didn’t text it to 400 contacts your face would get ripped off by a girl that swims out your TV (still see these on Facebook sometimes…), but instead of relapsing on fake folklore, it recognises WordPress blogs with a passion for their community; with new, interesting and exuberant content, that lights up your screen beyond it’s full brightness setting. It presents the receiver with a number of questions, to help their followers get to know them better, and in turn, learn more about the blogs they are currently weeping over.

Why am I writing about it?

I have received a couple of nominations in the past, and since reaching this milestone, I thought it an excellent time to permit my entry. I’d first like to thank steflifeandstuff, a long-time follower, fan and friend, who at many times has but a joyous smile on my face when I needed it most!
I should also like to thank Emily from A Writers Beginning, who also nominated me, with the series of questions I shall answer shortly. Her blog is full of lovely poems and some really excellent fiction to fall in love with. A link to the post I was nominated on is below, should you wish to visit, or click any blog title, to take you to their home page.
https://emilyweatherburnblog.wordpress.com/2018/04/30/the-mystery-blogger-award/

“This is an award for amazing bloggers with indigenous posts. Their blog not only captivates; it inspires and motivates. They are one of the best out there, and they deserve every recognition they get. This award is also for bloggers who find fun and inspiration in blogging and they do it with so much love and passion.” – Okoto Enigma.

the rules.jpg

Right, so these are the rules, to those who are nominated:

  1. Thank whoever nominated you and include a link to their blog.
  2. Tell your readers three things about yourself.
  3. Answer the questions given by the person who nominated you.
  4. Nominate 10-20 bloggers who you feel deserve the award.
  5. Ask your nominees five questions of your choice (with one strange one).
  6. Notify your nominees by commenting on their blog.

 

To begin with the ‘three things about myself’ portion of this award, I’d have to begin by mentioning my mental health. It wouldn’t feel right o me skipping over it, as I believe in speaking-out about it, and breaking down the stigma barriers, though often I’m afraid to sound too millennial or to not be taken seriously.
I have been diagnosed with a whole spectrum of mental disorders over the last half decade, experiencing about 6 months over the course of my two sixth form years inside various adolescent psychiatric hospitals, with varying degrees of security up and down the country (I’m from the UK to my international followers). I have been detained under maaaaa lurve maaaa durlin.jpgsection 2 of the mental health act twice and section 3 once as well. Though my circle of support and myself believe that I may lie somewhere on the Autistic Spectrum and have not been accessed for it yet, the diagnosis I have received that I feel best fit me are: Borderline Personality Disorder & PTSD.

Moving on from that, though I’m sure we’ll come back to it at some point, I live in Leicester with my Girlfriend Annie. She is my carer but first and foremost the most amazing human alive. I absolutely love her to pieces and she is the muse for all the beauty in my writing. I don’t know where I’d be without her.

But before I get too smooshy (See – any love poem I’ve ever posted) I’ll move swiftly on to my last point, which is something I don’t feel is particularly relevant to myself, as its not something I’ve never had to admit to but may come as a slight shock (or probably not at all!) to some close friends or family who may read this but remained unaware (sort of banking on the fact that most of them have gotten bored and stopped reading by now hehe) but I identify as Bisexual. It’s something I’ve always known and never hidden from particularly but I just never had the right opportunity to explain to everyone one, and having never been in a same-sex relationship, never felt I had to publically announce.

Now on the questions set to me by Emily, which I am very excited about having peeked at them already!

1. I’m going to start with a weird one. So, if you had to choose a favourite word, what would it be? You don’t even need to explain why you like it if you don’t feel the need to – simply, what is your favourite word?

I don’t know why I’m finding this so hard to think of an answer for. It’s probably because I feel it necessary to NOT use a swear word here. I suppose it’s also down to how quickly I speak. Hope. Just hit me. I guess I’ll go for hope. There’s nothing else like it.

2. Are there any ethical issues that you feel particularly strongly about?

Now this is a tricky one. As a Brit I’m inclined not to bring up Brexit, but I am extremely aggravated that I am nearly 20 years old having had no democratic say in it. I’m also all for the use of medical cannabis in this county. It benefits so many people across the world, including myself. My mental state was a hopeless wreck of angst and existentialism before I discovered the benefits of cannabis. It has great healing powers for both physical and mental health in the UK and across the globe, and I think it’s only a matter of time before it is legalised for medical use; though I’d like to see it de-criminalised altogether, so that we can protect young teens from the dangers of street drugs and help prop up our government with the amount of tax they would slap on it. Besides that, I’m a working-class boy with a very political family, so I care deeply about welfare and race and sex issues, the environment and also mental health of course. There are many other issues I’ll kick myself later for not mentioning, but these just came to mind right now.

jezza.jpg

3. If you could travel anywhere in the world right now (completely free of charge), where would you choose?

amsterdam.jpg
A snap Annie took while In Amsterdam

Depends; alone, I’d love to go to peak of a mountain top, without having to actually climb it of course. Just for the solidarity and meditation. But if I could take Annie with me, it’d be Amsterdam; every time. We’ve just been for her 20th, but it’s such a beautiful city, and the Dutch are so charming.

 

4. Do you have a favourite modern author? By “modern”, let’s say from the 1950s onwards (I’m an English student, so anything after this time is modern in my mind).

Besides the fact that I really can’t fault that definition of a modern author, I’d still have to go very modern and go for Matt Haig. His book Reasons to Stay Alive literally saved my life on a few different occasions, and his fiction is very charming. Let alone he is a stand-up guy with respectable political views and sometimes a pretty funny Twitter feed. I actually posted a link to buy his book on Amazon in my first ever blog post, as part of a list of things that could help with ones mental health. Plus, I fucking hate capitalism, so that is really saying something.

5. Is anything bothering you? (I know, it’s vague, but it’s a question). This can be personal, political, or whatever you like – what’s on your mind?

Besides the impending doom of us all, the ever worsening state of British and world politics (Thanks Donald Trump) and my exponentially growing agoraphobia, I’d have to say the main thing on my mind bothering me right now would be the fact that I’ve been placed on this violent patient register. It’s all to do with an incident that went down at my previous GP surgery, in which I was provoked in a severe mental state by the doctor, caused some minor damage to a chair and wall, and because of my extensive history with being under section and substance misuse, I have been slandered by the surgery and the NHS which I am virtually powerless to challenge. It means I can’t see a doctor when I need to, which with my terrible anxiety is very difficult. Oh, and I’ve also got an ear infection that I can’t get seen to without nipping down to A&E to wait there to see a doctor for 4-8 hours. It’s honestly a joke; and I honestly can’t believe that the Conservative government has led the NHS into this much of a state but it has; and now I’m virtually without mental health support.

Cor, that one got me going!

Thanks so much Emily for these wonderful questions. I hope you’ve all enjoyed my answers and that I haven’t bored you away already! Below here are a list of 10 blogs I want to nominate for the award. For one reason or another, these blogs really stand out to me and you should be sure to check them out! (Also some of these may be old, and I’ve tried to find those who I don’t think have been nominated before, so please don’t be offended if you’re not here!)

  1. The Girl Who Wanted To Be God
  2. Moments
  3. Above The Noise
  4. Words By Tina
  5. In The World Of Thoughts
  6. Lunarpoet
  7. Alternate Bipolar Reality
  8. My Kind of Beautiful
  9. Paperback, Pen, Mountains and Coffee
  10. J.W.T Woodfordquestions

And my questions to them are:

  1. Where is the most inspiring place you have ever visited? This may be a town or city, a region of any foreign country, or even just a room in somebody’s house you once visited.
  2. What do you perceive to be your greatest asset in life?
  3. Who, above anybody else, could you not live without?
  4. What drives you to publish content on WordPress or other platform?
  5. If you could combine any two superpowers to become the ultimate hero or villain what would they be, and how would you utilise them in the modern world?

But that’s all for now. Genuinely, well done if you’ve read this far. I’ve just proof read it and stopped for a nap. I just want to say another big thanks to Emily and Stef for nominating me and to all my followers whether it be here on Written Word or across social media, who lighten my life with nice comments and stories that help me just to feel a little more normal. You are all spectacular and I love you!

Be sure to follow me on Twitter or Instagram if you haven’t already and I hope you all have a glorious rest of your week!

Twitter: https://twitter.com/AndyMaudling
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/andymaudling/

Rosita

One proud little shoot,
All pampered and fed;
She blooms all her riches,
To bathe us in red.
One proud bud above,
Sits cradled and clean.
Amongst all her quaint beauty,
Lies plenty of green.

One envious plant,
So enraged at the world;
For come winter her leaves,
Will be browning and curled.
Oh Rosita, Rosita;
There’s love here you see:
Now when I care for you,
I can now care for me.

Oh Rosita, Rosita;
You marvellous Miss;
In you soul lives aroma,
Sealed up in a kiss.
Her scent is an ocean,
That sits plain and still.
A body that’s pure,
And a mind so tranquil.

The Triumph of Mans Best-friend: A Stop-Motion Story| “Isle of Dogs” from Wes Anderson | Friday Film Review

My girlfriend and I strolled down to our local Art-house cinema, The Phoenix in Leicester, last week to see Wes Andersons latest family flic. Riddled with impressions of world politics, Isle of Dogs breathes new life into Andersons style of family film making. A colourful display of stop-motion animation at its finest, Isle of Dogs gives the viewer an epic and comical experience, that could be enjoyed by the simplest of child, to the most intellectual adult. The process behind the animation was astounding, which is something I want to talk about in a little more detail. Though I feel this was not Andersons best film to date, it had a bucket full of charm, and it was very enjoyable watch.

isle of dogs 2

It’s been a long time since I’ve watch a stop motion film. I haven’t been keeping up with the modern Aardman creations and I’m not one partial to the regular ITV 2 re-run of The Curse of The Were-Rabbit even so often when they pop up. I have however been a fan of the genre for a long time; it was actually misleofdogsheadery first venture into film making, long before I ever studied film or media in education. But the scale of this project, and the expert precision behind the time of comical scene was tremendous, there’s no doubt about it. Though it remains to be said, that I feel this film lacked in other areas, I can’t praise the animation team on Isle of Dogs more.

Here’s a video from FOX Searchlight, that better explains the method behind the animation in this film then I simply ever could.

The story itself, though thoroughly heart-warming, was honestly a little dull. I found maybe quaint moments within the film that left me wanting more. Though time and time again I felt that the story ran a little flat in places. I would also say that, though not always negatively speaking, it was difficult to pin down and exact climax to the film. The pacing just wasn’t quite right.

The astounding confrontational scene on the bridge, which you can see the animators working on in the above video, came too early in the film I felt, as it was far too brilliant a scene to follow up with a staggering half an hour of resolution.

isle-of-dogs-trailer-2017-officiThat being said, the voice actors chosen for this film, Bryan Cranston in particular, bring and elegant warmth to the lifeless lumps of material that these creatures really are. The dogs were loveable, heart-warming characters, which giving testament to Andersons writing, I believe they would stand up against the Pixar movie greats, given the right distribution.

Wes has worked again to work depth into this film, so that audiences of all kinds and grow to love it. This isn’t unusual though; after the success of Fantastic Mr Fox a few years back and other family favourites like Moonrise kingdom, it was only a matter of time before Anderson would write another film perfect for McDonalds Happy Meal merchandise, but too arty-farty to get in the door.Isle-of-dogs-_04

After the release of The Grand Budapest Hotel however, I thought of Anderson as more than just a quant quirky film making geek, and more of a subtle comic genius. His depth in writing, gives him so much power to create humour in even the smallest moments of any film. The Grand Budapest Hotel displays this very well; though sadly I felt Isle of Dogs was not as successful at choking me with laughter.

Rating: 4/5

I’m not currently sure what I am to review next time, so should you have any requests or ideas on any film to review, old or new, please feel free to comment below. The next review should be up on Friday 4th May, should things stand as they are. I’d love to here your thought on Isle of Dogs, or any of the other films I’ve reviewed over the past few weeks.

I hope to see you all back soon. Thanks for visiting!

 

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I, Fire

I, fire;
I’m standing on a wire.
I think that I’ll retire,
Now I know that you’re a lier.
Choose to believe,
If you lose than you leave,
But if you stay,
You surely burn up.
If I could pray,
I’d wish you pup.
A little companionship,
To man the ship,
That rocks inside philanthropists,
With no capital, but can’t resist.
I really do demand of this.
If you get to close to me,
You’ll crisp;
One kiss is all you need.
I’ve burned a heavy trail behind,
On wicked roads that I did wind.
I bled and cried and crashed and lied.
To fall beneath a deep decline.
Though all is not a wasteful truth,
For as I expend now from youth,
I feel the rage and hurt and pain,
Drip down the walls like falling rain.
Is it her; this Angel here?
With ginger hair that draws me near.
A medicine; a douse of life,
Might end at last my endless strife.

She is the one;
The only Truth,
My love has doused the fire that did spread betwixt my youth.

History | Sunday Sonnet

If all we are is what we see,
Then why do I feel blind?
This world of animosity,
Has left me feeling kind.

We are not all our parents,
Still we do become in time,
A ship that sails over the Barents,
So to build and so to climb.

Are we not what we thought,
When we thought we were all men?
If are lives are called to court,
Then we defend our lives again.

I close my eyes and see that world.
In history it now is furled.